As I explored an internship for this “Immersion in Publishing” course at Bay Path University, I went to The Forge Literary Magazine website. I was immediately drawn to the dark, powerful image of the red-hot curl of iron, the anvil, and the hammers, along with the burst of cobalt blue that offered a softness; soothed the heat  https://forgelitmag.com/ (Links to an external site.) . The image I gazed at and felt seduced by played a huge role in my delving deeper into the magazine. Once I read a couple of the stories – one fiction one non-fiction – I felt this is where I belonged.

From the start of this process, I knew where ever I landed for this internship experience, I wanted to feel I belonged and feel creatively inspired. I knew that a sense of connection would facilitate my learning process and hopefully enhance my writing. I want to learn how The Forge works. How does the team of people behind this magazine, who I hope to get to know, work individually and together?  How do they choose the right pieces, the best pieces, the pieces that fit into The Forge to give it life, the pieces that go out into the world? I want to learn more about others’ writings, and understand my own style of writing through the experience of reading submissions.

I so much want to immerse in this process of engagement and learning, at the same time my ability to immerse feels challenged by other aspects of my life. That is what causes me the greatest concern. Managing not just the demands of the course and the commitment to the internship, but also other life responsibilities. I gulp down my angst. I hate having to be so careful because of the pandemic. Monitoring everything. Every day I sense moments happening around me that I am not a part of. I catch hints of movement out of the corners of my eye that make me wonder what I am missing. What I am not seeing? Is this part of aging I ask myself each day?

I want to engage in those moments of life that bring connection and a sense of vitality. As always, I am torn between the writer in me who could just immerse into the creative flow of words and forget the rest of the world, while other parts of self are buoyed by being in the company of others.  I thrive when enjoying and nurturing others through cooking and a shared a meal, having fun playing games like “Left, Right, Center” and laughing, connecting with nature, and taking photographs of the Maui mountains, the whales breeching off shore, and the sunrises and sunsets.

I struggle mostly with myself because when I commit to something I take my commitments seriously and try to do my best. Maybe I am committed to too many things! Yet amidst my trepidations, I am ready for my internship at The Forge. “The Forge Literary Magazine was founded by volunteers from the Fiction Forge, an international online writers’ forum, which counts amongst its members and alumni winners of numerous literary awards…. Our all-volunteer staff shares editorial duties equally, we pay our contributors, and our taste is wide-ranging and eclectic. The Forge Literary Magazine is a project of Forge Literary Press, a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization incorporated in the state of California.”

And so with excitement, curiosity, and yes nervousness, I open the door to this new on-line experience with The Forge.